When you suffer an injury so severe that it changes your
life forever, it’s never something you expect or are prepared to deal with. If
that injury results in a life-long disability, it affects not only you, but
your friends, loved ones, and everyone around you who would be your support
network. What if that disability is invisible to everyone except for you?
The disability I'm referring to, in this case, is traumatic brain
injury (TBI). TBI occurs when an external force injures the brain - like in a
motor vehicle accident, sports accident, physical assault/battery, or a serious
fall. TBI can result in physical, cognitive, social, emotional, and behavioral
symptoms, and outcomes can range from complete recovery to permanent disability
or death. There is still continuing research on the full and lasting effects of
different head traumas. Concussions are now considered to be “mild traumatic
brain injuries,” with research pointing to serious long-term consequences for
repeated concussions, such as chronic traumatic encephalopathy.
Writer and music critic Tim Page, in his “Letter from the Other Side,” has published a beautifully written firsthand account that describes
his own recovery from a traumatic brain injury, and the struggles he endured
while he and everyone close to him adjusted to his new life post-injury. Often
in severe cases of TBI, there is a permanent change in mood, energy levels, and
ability to concentrate, due to permanent damage of the brain. Unlike physical
disabilities such as limb loss or blindness, the damage with TBI is internal,
and TBI is often called “the invisible disability”. If you haven’t experienced
a brain injury, you can only truly learn about it by understanding it through
the eyes of someone who suffers from it.
“Only
as I grew stronger did I realize how badly damaged I’d been. In the morning, it took me an hour or more to
understand that I was actually expected to get up, and then at least another
hour to dress myself. I could no longer
sit in crowded restaurants, follow a multi-party conversation, or stay up even
a few minutes longer than body and brain willingly permitted. I reached for words that were not quite
there, and some of them never arrived. The cliché about memory and Swiss cheese
applied. I could give ad hoc lectures on my pet subjects and write down most of
the phone numbers I had dialed more than twice, but I had forgotten the life
stories of friends, the names of their children, the funerals of their parents. When it could be accessed, my brain
functioned like a capacious hard drive, but my “software” was tangled beyond
belief.”
– Tim Page
– Tim Page
With someone in the U.S. suffering from a brain injury every
13 seconds, chances are that you or someone you know has been affected with some
degree of TBI. In observation of TBI Awareness Month, here are some things to
keep in mind-and small ways to support a friend or loved one who has TBI.
·
The physical and
emotional toll that TBI takes is hard for outsiders to understand, since
it’s often not visible from the outside looking in. TBI affects memory, sleep,
and often causes extreme fatigue, anxiety, and chronic pain.
♥ Understand
they’re struggling with a brain that no longer works the same, and know that
many people who suffer from TBI experience daily fatigue and exhaustion doing
simple tasks that most of us take for granted.
·
The lack of
understanding and support from people who assume that once the scar goes
away, you’re fully healed. Our society often says that if you look fine, you
must feel fine. However, TBI is an invisible disability that many don’t
understand.
♥ Exercise
empathy by trying not to judge someone with TBI for being aloof. Don’t take
declined invitations personally. Don’t say, “You look fine” or anything that
assumes you know their inner condition.
·
All of the above problems resulting from TBI can often lead
to isolation from social circles andsupport groups because it’s just too exhausting to go out, or even just to
have a simple conversation anymore, and some friendships/relationships aren’t
forgiving of that distance.
♥ Extend
friendship, support and compassion to someone struggling with TBI in a way that
doesn’t demand too much of their energy. Facebook is a forgiving medium for
someone who is recovering from a brain injury to share updates with one’s
entire social circle without getting too emotionally exhausted.
For sufferers of any major disability or chronic injury, the support given from friends, family and loved ones is the essential element in helping them through the challenges ahead. This is especially true when the disability is hidden 'below the surface', the biggest impacts seen only by those close enough to notice.
