When a part of you is broken that others can’t see or understand

When you suffer an injury so severe that it changes your life forever, it’s never something you expect or are prepared to deal with. If that injury results in a life-long disability, it affects not only you, but your friends, loved ones, and everyone around you who would be your support network. What if that disability is invisible to everyone except for you?

The disability I'm referring to, in this case, is traumatic brain injury (TBI). TBI occurs when an external force injures the brain - like in a motor vehicle accident, sports accident, physical assault/battery, or a serious fall. TBI can result in physical, cognitive, social, emotional, and behavioral symptoms, and outcomes can range from complete recovery to permanent disability or death. There is still continuing research on the full and lasting effects of different head traumas. Concussions are now considered to be “mild traumatic brain injuries,” with research pointing to serious long-term consequences for repeated concussions, such as chronic traumatic encephalopathy. 

Writer and music critic Tim Page, in his “Letter from the Other Side,” has published a beautifully written firsthand account that describes his own recovery from a traumatic brain injury, and the struggles he endured while he and everyone close to him adjusted to his new life post-injury. Often in severe cases of TBI, there is a permanent change in mood, energy levels, and ability to concentrate, due to permanent damage of the brain. Unlike physical disabilities such as limb loss or blindness, the damage with TBI is internal, and TBI is often called “the invisible disability”. If you haven’t experienced a brain injury, you can only truly learn about it by understanding it through the eyes of someone who suffers from it.

“Only as I grew stronger did I realize how badly damaged I’d been.  In the morning, it took me an hour or more to understand that I was actually expected to get up, and then at least another hour to dress myself.   I could no longer sit in crowded restaurants, follow a multi-party conversation, or stay up even a few minutes longer than body and brain willingly permitted.   I reached for words that were not quite there, and some of them never arrived. The cliché about memory and Swiss cheese applied. I could give ad hoc lectures on my pet subjects and write down most of the phone numbers I had dialed more than twice, but I had forgotten the life stories of friends, the names of their children, the funerals of their parents.   When it could be accessed, my brain functioned like a capacious hard drive, but my “software” was tangled beyond belief.”
– Tim Page

With someone in the U.S. suffering from a brain injury every 13 seconds, chances are that you or someone you know has been affected with some degree of TBI. In observation of TBI Awareness Month, here are some things to keep in mind-and small ways to support a friend or loved one who has TBI.

·   The physical and emotional toll that TBI takes is hard for outsiders to understand, since it’s often not visible from the outside looking in. TBI affects memory, sleep, and often causes extreme fatigue, anxiety, and chronic pain.

♥  Understand they’re struggling with a brain that no longer works the same, and know that many people who suffer from TBI experience daily fatigue and exhaustion doing simple tasks that most of us take for granted.

·   The lack of understanding and support from people who assume that once the scar goes away, you’re fully healed. Our society often says that if you look fine, you must feel fine. However, TBI is an invisible disability that many don’t understand.

♥  Exercise empathy by trying not to judge someone with TBI for being aloof. Don’t take declined invitations personally. Don’t say, “You look fine” or anything that assumes you know their inner condition.

·   All of the above problems resulting from TBI can often lead to isolation from social circles andsupport groups because it’s just too exhausting to go out, or even just to have a simple conversation anymore, and some friendships/relationships aren’t forgiving of that distance.

♥  Extend friendship, support and compassion to someone struggling with TBI in a way that doesn’t demand too much of their energy. Facebook is a forgiving medium for someone who is recovering from a brain injury to share updates with one’s entire social circle without getting too emotionally exhausted.

For sufferers of any major disability or chronic injury, the support given from friends, family and loved ones is the essential element in helping them through the challenges ahead. This is especially true when the disability is hidden 'below the surface', the biggest impacts seen only by those close enough to notice.